This is a continuation of my reading of Victor Herman’s book, Coming Out Of The Ice, An Unexpected Life, out of print for some time. Just a reminder of why I am doing this. I consider this book to be extremely important, because it is a glimpse into what we can expect if we do not resist the oncoming tyranny. Victor Herman, in discussing his experiences in the Soviet gulag emphasized: “Don’t think it can’t happen here.” And, it is now happening here.
The series begins here.
In this chapter Victor witnesses an extraordinary horror in camp Nuksha 2, which I won’t set out here.
This is Victor’s drawing of one of the work camps in which he was imprisoned.
It is one thing to write about it, or to speak about it, but it is an entirely different thing to experience it. For myself, I think it is impossible to fully appreciate the impact of such a thing without actually being there. But it is worth the time and effort to contemplate Victor’s experience as he relates it, especially in the context of what has happened in his story so far.
One of the impacts of this thing on Victor is to inquire into these emotions and impulses of his incited by this event and their origins.
The life - the snow, the birch, all of it - what did it kill in you while the carcass of your soul split apart and gave birth to something very alien? But the new thing you were, did it not come from inside?
* * *
I know that somewhere in there something like excitement, a certain zest, the agitation of something animal erupted in me.
I worried about it.
Victor’s discussion of what evil erupts within him causes me to think about Victor’s prior experience in Spets Korpus, of his abuse at the hands, literally, of Belov. (Chapters 29, 30, and 31.) The punishment that Victor suffered from Belov - I can’t help but think of the impact of that punishment on Belov himself. To intentionally cause pain to another human being, for no real purpose other than to cause pain, must, in some way, reflect back upon the abuser. And this thought is in no way an attempt to excuse the evil of such acts, but only to recognize the reality of how such pain spreads and multiplies, even upon the very source of that pain. For Belov, he survived it by dulling the pain with alcohol. But such pain can never be completely extinguished by drink. I wonder what eventually became of him.
Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man. - Matthew 15:11.
The reading is here. As always, I hope you appreciate Victor’s words.